STORY TIME

I was in a meeting the other day and the guy in charge said, "We need more stories. We've got lots of articles, but we need more stories." This struck me as brilliant -- except on the off chance that I might have to produce some of them.

It got me to thinking, though. This blog, a wonderful repository of life as we know it, to be puzzled over by later lifeforms who study our ways and can't fathom the concept of no-umpire softball, has a lot of articles. But it doesn't have a lot of stories.

Just to prove I'm down with the concept, this week we get a story. (Oh, I know. Some of you tuned in because you wanted a recap of our game Tuesday against the Tap. No. Actually, you don't.)

Where was I? Ah, yes. The story.

The fellow whose picture graces the post is Dan Rubin, great writer, great softball player, great friend. For the purpose of the post, I will overlook the Northwestern cap. (Matheson sporting Big Ten rival Michigan.) At least it's not the goddam Red Sox hat again.

The last time the Pen & Pencil had a softball team, before it was reborn in 2007 from the ashes of the proud Daily News team, Dan Rubin and I were rookies on the squad. You want to know how long ago this was? Rubin looked like Axl Rose. Hair down to his ass. I kid you not.

Mike Sokolove was the pitcher. Sal Paolantonio was the left fielder. Bob Rosenthal was on the team, and Fred Mann and Bill Eddins and Mike Missanelli. Hell of a team, actually. We played in a league with roofers and plumbers and such on their fields way up on Ridge Pike. And, let me tell you, when you got into an argument with the roofers, it wasn't like having a piss-off with the Art Museum boys.

Anyway, that's a few seasons in the past and it's good to be out there every week (crises permitting) with all of you still wearing the spatula proudly. That's the end of the story.

Now... we sucked against the Tap. Lost 14-7. This one got away from us. We needed to play better defense and gave them too many extra outs. On the other side of the book, we stranded a zillion runners.

Bright spots? Ellen Kenney was not, in fact, paralyzed when third baseman Jeremy nailed her in the lower back on a play at first. He also played spoilsport by snagging an absolute smash line drive off the bat of Ellen on her next at-bat.

We did find a shortstop. Thank god Donlen is out of the country and can't read this. Tom Hickey said, "This space is mine," and it will be hard to get him out of there.

Let's see. George Miller hit a foul ball for a home run. Kate Fagan bunted for a hit. Well, it would have been a hit, except there's no bunting in the Center City Softball League. But it did wake them up for a time.

It didn't wake them up as much, of course, as when Commissioner/Savant/Keeper of Book Ron Goldwyn stopped the game to accuse the Tap of batting out of order. Like loudly. Like going over to their bench. Like a couple of minutes later saying, "My bad."

I don't have the book, but I think that's the inning they scored seven runs. If it isn't, it should be. Would make for a better story.