THE FEW, THE PROUD, THE PEN & PENCIL

While some of us were too busy watching those adorable Boston Red Sox in Citizens Bank Park, and some of us were stewing in the press workroom at Boston Banknorth Fakeorama Garden, the rest of us were getting the job done against the mighty Dung Beetles of the Academy of Natural Sciences.
This was a needed win. It broke a four-game schneid and pushed us firmly toward the second half of the season with some upward momentum.
Interim skippah (as Kerry says) Chris Brennan had just 11 brave recruits for the game, but apparently used them well. He filed this report:
"A scrappy bunch of P&P show-ups -- let's call them the distilled spirit of the team -- took on an ANS team flush with players but not so much with runs. With a solid 11 players, the P&P beat ANS 10-1. The bad news: pitcher Mike Galan had a sweet shut-out into the bottom of the 7th but his trusty infield, which had been snagging sharply hit balls all night, faltered for just a moment. Galan produced offensively too, going 3-4. After getting off to a slow start, the club started producing hits. George Miller piled up a little insurance in the seventh with a three-run homer. Defensively, Kate Fagan wowed both teams with a scoop at second that left her no time to pull the ball out of her glove and toss it to first base. So Fagan employed the jai-alai method, tossing the ball WITH her glove for the out. A fine defensive game as well from Tom "My, those are some tall black socks" Hickey and Brian "Cleats At The Altar" Donlen."
These guys think sports writing is easy until they try to do it. Well done, all. We convene with our usual quorum next week, hopefully.

TEAM TURMOIL

Go to Europe for one lousy week and everything falls apart. What's a deadbeat manager to do? I wish I had better news right now, but can't think of any. I'll be missing Tuesday's game vs. ANS because of the Boston Celtics and much of the rest of our roster will be missing it because of the Boston Red Sox. None of this makes sense.

Anyway, he's GM Chris Brennan's report on our loss to the South Philly Tap Room:

"This is probably a story best kept short. We fell behind to the SPTR, which played a smart game of hitting sharp grounders through our infield to load up the bases for a few of their players who had the talent to smack balls to places in the outfield we were not currently located. Final score: 19-8.
Provisional management accepts full responsibility -- I'm looking at you, Ron -- for putting together a batting order that didn't exactly balance out our talent from top to bottom. After Ron's departure, I didn't make matters much better.
The club hung in there on a wickedly humid day, pulling within one run mid-game before the Tap Room broke it open again. Highlights were Nevins 3-4 and Yasiejko 3-3."

Wow, that was terse. GM CB gets a chance for redemption against ANS and I expect a better report.

VICTORY IS SOMEONE'S

Yes, the mighty Franklin Institute tasted defeat for the first time this season.

Sub manager Ron Goldwyn filed this report while the skipper is doing whatever he is doing abroad:

Franklin Institute gets beat! They're no longer undefeated, no longer invincible -- humbled if not humble! Still drinking PBR in those mediocre uniforms. And we played them in the same week it happened!

Full disclosure requires the admission that it was the South Philly Taproom on Tuesday, not the P&P on Monday, that administered said defeat (8-6 in you're keeping score).
Monday at Edgely 4, under gorgeous spring-summer skies, TFI won 19-6.
The game was not as close as the score indicates (we plated three in bottom-7 but left the tying run standing behind the bench, laughing and drinking beer with some horny dog).
Two of the first four batters in Inning One hit long home runs. We held them to two more homers the rest of the way. But it was 9-0,the traditional forfeit score, before we'd batted in the second.
Stars on a nonstarry night -- Brian Donlen, three hits (a double), Tom Hickey three hits (a triple), George Miller two hits (2 rbi), Dan Rubin two hits.
Julie Dugan made two spectacular grabs of long flies deep to right, setting an example that none of her male counterparts in all the rest of the outfield could match. Kate Fagan made her P&P debut an impressive one with several keystone sack gems and a single.
Point of personal privilege. Author and manager-in-waiting Ron Goldwyn singled sharply to third in his first AB of the season and retires, again, hitting 1.000.
The semi-mighty P&P does it all over again Tuesday June 10 on Edgely 8, our favorite old field by the refreshment stand, against the giant-killer SPTR's. We're the home team. It's dollar-and-a-half dog night, if the hot doggie lady happens to repair of if we roast a mascot.

THIS TEAM UNDER CONSTRUCTION

While we await Ron's official report on Monday's loss to Franklin Institute -- I gave him the book to keep since it was radioactive -- just a few words about who we are and what we do.
We like to have fun and play softball. I think that despite the score on Monday, whatever it was, we still enjoyed the process. We dropped some balls and missed some pitches we should have hit and, although I can't confirm this yet, my sense is the sun will rise over the fertile highways of New Jersey tomorrow morning and set over the steaming cooling towers of Three Mile Island tomorrow. Maybe this is perspective. Maybe it is experience. Maybe it is the fact that I'm getting on a plane for Paris on Wednesday and leaving you losers behind me.
Nevertheless, we are 3-3 this season and the losses have been to the two best teams in the league. I firmly believe we are the third-best at this moment, that we will make the playoffs and could make some trouble once there. We have a very nice team and do like to drink the occasional beer. This is not something to be overlooked, lo though these days look dark.
The management will miss, regrettably, next week's game against South Philly Tap, a very winable game, and will see you in two weeks against the unpleasant Dung Beetles of the Academy of Natural Sciences. Please, as always, get your running in, and remember why we do this. And when you remember, please remind me.

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER

The Morning Report on Game 5, filed by Manager Emeritus, Ron "Crazy Pants" Goldwyn:

We got raked over in this one, 11-4, and it was our own rake. The sun shone bright o'er our sloppy Belmont home, but the Belmont stakes were strictly for the mudders. Brian Donlen and Tom Hickey were the MPPs, the mud-puddle plowmen who devoted their pregame warmup time to sweeping and raking sludge from home plate, near second, and the third base swamp. Others assisted, and the rake was supplied by sub-sub-skip Ronaldo. Donlen showed his no-warmup chops with three hits and an rbi in our not-quite-comeback 5th inning rally. George Miller hit a three-run-something to RIGHT field in the first inning - there was a slogjam down at third base before a wild throw allowed laggards, coach-heeders and head-down barrellers to score. ChrisYasiejko pitched a solid CG, Mike Galan played a terrific third base, tying a world's record with three assists on three tough ground balls in the scoreless fourth.Two hits each for Rakeup Hickey, Dapper Dan Rubin and the estimable BJ Clark, plus three solid smacks by newcomer Julie Dugan -- all of which showcased the sadly excellent fielding skills of the Bishopric Eleven and a half. (Foe-skip Denise Schmalbach developed a 21st century childcare system by handing off her lil darlin during each at-bat to various nurturing teammates, and virtually attracting DHS casemonitoring by reaching base in the second and eschewing her kid). We were in it, until we weren't. A three-run deficit turned to seven in the final frame. But the turning point was bringing that rake, and thereby eliminatingthe possibility of a mudshine postponement. And seriously folks, the Collarallos were superb in thefield, proving out the old CCSL maxim, make the easy plays and you win. Our playas - Hickey, Rubin, Donlen, Miller, Clark, John Hall, Kerry O'Connor, Yasiejko, Dugan, Galan,Tom DiNardo dh, Ellen Kenney keeping most of the pitches out of the slop. Ed, you'll get a swing tonight, so please come out smokin'. Injured reserve -- Brennan (who almost showed up too late to be injured) and Goldwyn (who was rewarded for full participation with a Miller smash off the shin in 3b coaching box). And this time, actual beer, including a craft-forged aluminum can of some kind of ale. We do it again Tuesday on one of those Dairy fields -Bob will supply the magic number (2 or 4). If the weather outside is frightful, Ford in absentia will be insightful, relaying whatever the heck sub-sub-skiptells him to. We play the Art Museum, a credible club that has drawn a 1-3 mark. And heads-up -- no game next week because of Memorial Day scheduling limitations (that's why we were scheduled to play two this week).

Whew. Thanks, Ron for that report.

SWING AND A MISS

It was deja-p.u. on Edgeley 8 as the undefeated Franklin Institute remained undefeated with an 8-3 win over the regrettably inept offensive display of our own Pen & Pencil. Veteran observers and those with excellent memories will recall that the P&P was eliminated from the playoffs last season by these same Institutionalists by a score of 8-2.

What is it with these guys, anyway?

It was a kind of freakily similar experience. For instance, freaky fans, in the semifinal elimiation last season, Franklin had just 13 hits, compared to 10 for the P&Pers. This time, FI had 15 hits, and we had 12. Now, any reasonable observer would be surprised by these numbers, since the game, like, didn't seem that close.

Nevertheless, true. Last year, we were outscored 2-1 after the third inning, which is seriously flaccid production in slow-pitch softball. This time, we were outscored 3-1 after the third inning.

I can't explain any of this, although if you score 2 or 3 runs in a game, you lose. That part, I can explain.

Anyway, good defense on our part and a decent showing in that

regard. FI had not scored fewer than 16 runs in a game before Tuesday. On the other side of the ledger, however, not so good. We left nine runners on base and couldn't get a big inning going. We didn't get more than six to the plate in any inning, which, frankly, sucks.

We did have some good hitting from some folks. George Miller was 3-for-3, and Mark Nevins, Dan Rubin, Ryan Donell and BJ Clark had two hits each. The rest of us were 1-for-17. Yow. Tom Hickey was robbed by the shortstop on the first at-bat of the game, which served as something of an omen.

As usual, Franklin caught the ball well, which is kind of unfair and didn't beat themselves. We'll see them again.

NEAR REVENGE OF THE DUNG BEETLE

When we trailed 4-1 after two innings, I have to confess to a bit of nervousness. There didn't seem to be that P&P killer spirit. Maybe it was Cinco de Mayo, I don't know. But, seriously, the Academy of Natural Sciences Dung Beetles were on a one-game winning streak and one had to wonder. Admittedly, it was the only game they had won since 2006, but still.
Fortunately, the softball world righted itself in the home half of the third inning, when the mightly Pen & Pencil sent 17 to the plate, scored 12 runs and took control of what would become an 18-9 win over the DB's.
A nitpicker would pick at the fact that we scored a total of six runs in the five other at-bats, but, as we like to say so often, whatever. Viva Tecate, Viva Escriba y Lapiz. Oy.
Hitting stars of the day included Tom Hickey (4-for-5), Brian Donlen (3-for-4) and a big bunch with two hits each. Coming off the bench to put the win away were Tom DiNardo, John Hall and George Miller. Chris Yasiejko went the distance for the win. Chris Brennan wrestled first base into absolute submission.
A big Pen & Pencil howdy to Julie Dugan, who played her first game on the roster and didn't run screaming from the entire scene. That will come later.