SUBSTITUTE TEACHER

The Morning Report on Game 5, filed by Manager Emeritus, Ron "Crazy Pants" Goldwyn:

We got raked over in this one, 11-4, and it was our own rake. The sun shone bright o'er our sloppy Belmont home, but the Belmont stakes were strictly for the mudders. Brian Donlen and Tom Hickey were the MPPs, the mud-puddle plowmen who devoted their pregame warmup time to sweeping and raking sludge from home plate, near second, and the third base swamp. Others assisted, and the rake was supplied by sub-sub-skip Ronaldo. Donlen showed his no-warmup chops with three hits and an rbi in our not-quite-comeback 5th inning rally. George Miller hit a three-run-something to RIGHT field in the first inning - there was a slogjam down at third base before a wild throw allowed laggards, coach-heeders and head-down barrellers to score. ChrisYasiejko pitched a solid CG, Mike Galan played a terrific third base, tying a world's record with three assists on three tough ground balls in the scoreless fourth.Two hits each for Rakeup Hickey, Dapper Dan Rubin and the estimable BJ Clark, plus three solid smacks by newcomer Julie Dugan -- all of which showcased the sadly excellent fielding skills of the Bishopric Eleven and a half. (Foe-skip Denise Schmalbach developed a 21st century childcare system by handing off her lil darlin during each at-bat to various nurturing teammates, and virtually attracting DHS casemonitoring by reaching base in the second and eschewing her kid). We were in it, until we weren't. A three-run deficit turned to seven in the final frame. But the turning point was bringing that rake, and thereby eliminatingthe possibility of a mudshine postponement. And seriously folks, the Collarallos were superb in thefield, proving out the old CCSL maxim, make the easy plays and you win. Our playas - Hickey, Rubin, Donlen, Miller, Clark, John Hall, Kerry O'Connor, Yasiejko, Dugan, Galan,Tom DiNardo dh, Ellen Kenney keeping most of the pitches out of the slop. Ed, you'll get a swing tonight, so please come out smokin'. Injured reserve -- Brennan (who almost showed up too late to be injured) and Goldwyn (who was rewarded for full participation with a Miller smash off the shin in 3b coaching box). And this time, actual beer, including a craft-forged aluminum can of some kind of ale. We do it again Tuesday on one of those Dairy fields -Bob will supply the magic number (2 or 4). If the weather outside is frightful, Ford in absentia will be insightful, relaying whatever the heck sub-sub-skiptells him to. We play the Art Museum, a credible club that has drawn a 1-3 mark. And heads-up -- no game next week because of Memorial Day scheduling limitations (that's why we were scheduled to play two this week).

Whew. Thanks, Ron for that report.

SWING AND A MISS

It was deja-p.u. on Edgeley 8 as the undefeated Franklin Institute remained undefeated with an 8-3 win over the regrettably inept offensive display of our own Pen & Pencil. Veteran observers and those with excellent memories will recall that the P&P was eliminated from the playoffs last season by these same Institutionalists by a score of 8-2.

What is it with these guys, anyway?

It was a kind of freakily similar experience. For instance, freaky fans, in the semifinal elimiation last season, Franklin had just 13 hits, compared to 10 for the P&Pers. This time, FI had 15 hits, and we had 12. Now, any reasonable observer would be surprised by these numbers, since the game, like, didn't seem that close.

Nevertheless, true. Last year, we were outscored 2-1 after the third inning, which is seriously flaccid production in slow-pitch softball. This time, we were outscored 3-1 after the third inning.

I can't explain any of this, although if you score 2 or 3 runs in a game, you lose. That part, I can explain.

Anyway, good defense on our part and a decent showing in that

regard. FI had not scored fewer than 16 runs in a game before Tuesday. On the other side of the ledger, however, not so good. We left nine runners on base and couldn't get a big inning going. We didn't get more than six to the plate in any inning, which, frankly, sucks.

We did have some good hitting from some folks. George Miller was 3-for-3, and Mark Nevins, Dan Rubin, Ryan Donell and BJ Clark had two hits each. The rest of us were 1-for-17. Yow. Tom Hickey was robbed by the shortstop on the first at-bat of the game, which served as something of an omen.

As usual, Franklin caught the ball well, which is kind of unfair and didn't beat themselves. We'll see them again.

NEAR REVENGE OF THE DUNG BEETLE

When we trailed 4-1 after two innings, I have to confess to a bit of nervousness. There didn't seem to be that P&P killer spirit. Maybe it was Cinco de Mayo, I don't know. But, seriously, the Academy of Natural Sciences Dung Beetles were on a one-game winning streak and one had to wonder. Admittedly, it was the only game they had won since 2006, but still.
Fortunately, the softball world righted itself in the home half of the third inning, when the mightly Pen & Pencil sent 17 to the plate, scored 12 runs and took control of what would become an 18-9 win over the DB's.
A nitpicker would pick at the fact that we scored a total of six runs in the five other at-bats, but, as we like to say so often, whatever. Viva Tecate, Viva Escriba y Lapiz. Oy.
Hitting stars of the day included Tom Hickey (4-for-5), Brian Donlen (3-for-4) and a big bunch with two hits each. Coming off the bench to put the win away were Tom DiNardo, John Hall and George Miller. Chris Yasiejko went the distance for the win. Chris Brennan wrestled first base into absolute submission.
A big Pen & Pencil howdy to Julie Dugan, who played her first game on the roster and didn't run screaming from the entire scene. That will come later.